A successful man / woman

A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

What if you don’t see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
“how would you feel if you don’t see me for two days?”
The man couldnt believe his luck: ‘that would be great’!
Monday passed and he didnt see her……
Tuesday and wednesday passed too…..
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
Corner of one eye;)

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife) ?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: “Up! Quick! My husband is back!”

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: “Damn, I am the husband!”

5 funny facts of life

Having 1 child makes you a parent
but having 2 makes you a refree.

Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right
and the other is always husband.

You can’t buy love
but you pay heavily for it.

Wife and husband always compromise,
husband admits that he’s wrong and wife too agrees with him.

Our language is called the mother tongue
because the father never gets a chance to Speak.!:p

You know why women starts with ‘W’…

You know why women starts with ‘W’…
because all questions start with “W”.. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

T-here’s richness in a love for life

T-here’s richness in a love for life
H-ere among the valentines,
A-king and queen as man and wife:
N-ot leaning towards what lust inclines;
K-nowing well the needs of state.
Y-on regal grace alone attends,
O-n which the peace, both small and great,
U-ndone by doubt, alone depends

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”

Why should I ?

A Question Asked In A Talent Test

If U R Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
How Would You Recognize Your Wife?

The Answer Came:

“Why Should I ? 😛

I Miss You

M: My lovely wife.
I: Is i am wrong in my sms?
S: Sex is not only thing in the life.
S: See, we have everything in our life you, me & our kids & good salaries and home also.

Y: You are everyting to me, my life my wife my jaan.
O: Our life is just a good enough for us. Alhumdullah.
U: U are the lucky one in my world… gave me our sweet family.

LOVE YOU!

Everybody makes mistakes in this world

In this world everybody makes mistakes…
But
Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
the gifted talent of finding them,
remembering them n reminding them

Difference between Husband & gadha

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired
stock trader said …

“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”

The report said, “DELIVERED”

Pandit sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, “DELIVERED”.

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Wife:What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

Wife came home with a goat.

Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

Remember your wife birthday

The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha

A pakistani man goes for fishing

A pakistani man goes for fishing, catches a big fish.
Comes home and askks his wife to cookthe fish.
Wife says she can’t as there is no gas, no electricity,
no atta(floor) and no cooking oil to fry it in.
Man goes and puts the fish back in the river.
Fish comes up to the surface and shouts
“Pakistan Zindabad”

Caught sleeping together

boy 1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy 2.Oh! I know her
Boy 1:How?
Boy 2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy 1:What the hell?
Boy 2.during lecture in maths class

Think +ve:)

ATM Jammed because of …

Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Pandit’s Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said”, Enter Ur PIN” 😉

Position of husband is like a split A.C.

Position of husband is like a split A.C.
No matter how loud he is outside,
but inside the house,
he is designed to remain
silent, cool & controlled by remote.

Husband to a newly wed wife

Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.

A man while making love to his maid,

A man while making love to his maid,
exclaimed ‘Martha ur are sweeter than my wife’

The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so’

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shooting her lover?

Pandit:Your honor,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

I want my child to laugh

Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy
Pandit: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA

I am teaching history.

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table.
The wife asked,”Anything new at work?
He replied, No, I am teaching history.

Wife said I’m dying

Husband texts to wife on cell..

“Hi,what r u doing Darling?”

Wife: I’m dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?”

Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”

Husband: “Bloody English Language!

My son and daughter

Superb Lines 4m a father’s diary ever n ever-
“my sOn is my sOn till he gets a wife,
But my daughter is my daughter til d end Of my life..”