Wife said I’m dying

Husband texts to wife on cell..

“Hi,what r u doing Darling?”

Wife: I’m dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?”

Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”

Husband: “Bloody English Language!

tenu mere naal pyar ho gaya !!

Boy: “I Love U” ki hunda hai?
Girl: Mein tere naal pyar kardi han.
Boy: Bus English ca ik Question ki puchhya
tenu mere naal pyar ho gaya !!

How Pakistani professors speak english

How Pakistani professors speak english,

1. Don’t dare talk in front of my back!
2.Both of u three get out of the class!
3.Why r u so late.. say yes or no?
4.Take 5 cm wire of any length!
5.I have 2 daughters, both of them are girls.
6.All of u stand in a straight circle.
7.Quiet! The principal just passed away…
8.Everybuddy stand lengthwise.
9.Y r u looking at the monkey outside da window wen I’m here?
10.Ur talking bad habit.

Friendship is not history 2 forget

Friendship is not history 2 forget
Friendship is not maths 2 calculate
Friendship is not english 2 learn
its only chemical locha dont try to
understand it just enjoy it

Funny Fart Jokes

Funny Fart Jokes

I want you to know that every time I Fart under the covers…

I’m doing it because I care about you and I want to keep you warm.

Don’t fight my methane cuddles. Enjoy them.

Pandit english k paper main fail ho gaya

Pandit english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I’m not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousand:)

Answer to “Who said to sell pepsi for Rs.65?”

Answer to “Who said to sell pepsi for Rs.65?”
Do the following !!!
1) go to google translate
2) type in “Who said to sell pepsi for Rs.65?”
3) translate English to Arabic
4) Copy the Arabic version
5) choose translation from Arabic to English
6) and the truth will be unleashed!!!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!

Best Eid SMS Messages

Here are some of the best Eid SMS Messages in English
Waiting for my Eid SMS
Its a pleasant eid mubarak
Bouqet of Eid Wishes
Many are the eid wishes
Eid is 3 meaningful words
Miss you a lot on Eid
Eid Days are meant to celebrate
This Eid is happiest and best
original Eid Mubarak Wish
I wish a wish for you
I wish you best of everything
May the delight & moments
Wish a very happy Eid 2 U

Life is spent in 3 stupid STAGES

Life is spent in 3 stupid STAGES
TEEN AGE
Have Time & Energy Bt No Money
WORKING AGE
Hv Money & Energy Bt No Time
OLD AGE
Hv Time & Money Bt No Energy

Husband wanted to call the hospital

to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.
He asks, “How’s the situation?”
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.
They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!”..:-P

Lecture on Sun

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!

Open lunch box in the middle of the road

Santa opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road….why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from the office

Fact about women

Fact about women:
They can see a hair of a girl
on their husband’s coat from 20 meters,
but can’t see a pillar from 2 meters
while parking a car . . . 😀

By face how do i look?

By face how do i look?
Innocent!
Sharp!
Proud!
Full of attitude!
Decent!
Illmannered!
Funny!
Cute!
Zidi!
Pretty!
Send it 2 all ur frndz ,
and see what they think about u..But reply me 1st!

A bull and a cow is grazing in the field

Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Miss use of english!!

Misuse of English!
A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear
So the Teacher Drew The Diagram On the Blackboard
&
said:
“Don’t Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D

Kept the door open while bathing

Do U know why a santa kept
the door open while taking a bath?
Because he was scared that someone
might see through the *KEY HOLE*.

Osama Bin Laden’s favourite song

Osama Bin Laden’s favourite song:
“O Main Nikla
Plane Leke
Raste Mein
New York Mein
Ek Mod Aaya
Main WTC Tod Aaya.”

Why Pakistanis are easy to identify..??

Why Pakistanis are easy to identify..??
*Everything cooked in ginger garlic paste and onion.
*Re-use of gift wrappers.
*Always arive atleast an hour late to a party.
*All siblings have rhyming names.
*Talk for an hour at the gate when leave someone’s house.
*You live with your parents even when you are 40 years old.
*Sofas and carpets are covered with bedsheets.
*Cover everything with plastic even if its a remote control. 😀

Have a Great Sunday…

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday
and asked Thursday whether Friday
has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday.
Have a Great Sunday…

Rich Man: Today, I have 14 Cars

Rich Man: Today, I have 14 Cars,
18 Bikes, 4 Bungalows, 3 Farm Houses
What do you have?
Poor Man: I have a boy
whos Girl Friend is
.
.
.
.
Your Daughter..!

Dead body cycling to school

Teacher: Bobby! Join these two sentences together.
I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
Bobby: I saw a Dead Body Cycling to school. 🙂

Sitting on the top of mountain

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying….
When a person asked what he was doing….
He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!

I almost cried

Life has so much 2 teach us,1 famous Chinese poet said
“Sifgliyo chi chongloma cyona sung una sevol ping pinago ching”
Really touching na?
I almost cried;->

A person who keeps on talking…

Teacher : What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

Live in center of believe

How can u believe on the word ‘believe’,
when there is a lie in center ? 😉
– Think..

Usama asked Kajol,hows ur life?

Usama asked Kajol,hows ur life?
She replied,kabhi khushi kabhi ghum.
Then Kajol asked Usama,what abt U?
He replied,kabhi BUSH kabhi BOMB.

Practical exam, and legs test

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Santa:I don’t know
Examiner: U r failed.Whats your name?
Santa: You see my legs, and tell me.

Cant lie till Z

A : u r Active
B : u r Best
C : u r Cute
D : u r my Dearest
E : u r Excellant
F : u r always First
G : u r Great
Sorry cant lie till Z…

How old is your father?

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born