TELL ME THE DIFFERNCE

TELL ME THE DIFFERNCE

“DIWALI” AS “ALI”

“RAMZAN” AS “RAM”

TELL ME THE DIFFERNCE

WHO IS HINDU WHO IS MUSALMAN

Long live the tradition of Hindu culture,

Long live the tradition of Hindu culture,
as the generations have passed by,
Hindu culture is getting stronger and stronger
lets keep it up.
Best Wishes for Dashain.

1st ever intelligent Pandit.

1st ever intelligent Pandit.
Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
Pandit: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

A Pandit goes to a restaurant

A Pandit goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?
Surprised Pandit:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?

A child after 3 month of marriage

A child after 3 month of marriage
A Pandit had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise ho gya?
Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
Pandit:3 months.
Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Pandit: 3 months
Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Pandit:3 month.
Wife: total kitne hue?
Pandit: oye 9 months & start dancing ;->

Pandit english k paper main fail ho gaya

Pandit english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I’m not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousand:)

Monkeys play football

Hindu to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Hindu: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

What is a grownup joke?

A Pandit’s boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Pandit replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old

A Pandit goes to a Chinese restaurant

A Pandit goes to a Chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

I will give both of them

Pandit 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Pandit:Oji, I will give both of them

Traffic signal for aeroplane

Pandit saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

Pandit : I havnt slept all night in the train.

Pandit : I havnt slept all night in the train.
Friend: Y?
Pandit : Got upper berth.
Friend: Y didnt u ecchanged?
Pandit : oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..

Examiner taking practical of Pandit

Examiner taking practical of Pandit
In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Pandit :I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Pandit :See my legs & tell my name

A Pandit & his wife were waiting for train

A Pandit & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Pandit bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana

Hindu always smile during lightning storms

Q:- Why does Hindu always smile during lightning storms?
A:- They think their picture is being taken.

Taxi driver to Pandit

Taxi driver to Pandit:-
Pandit ji petrol khatam ho gaya ha gaddi agay nahi ja rahi
Pandit: Koi bat nahi gaddi piche lelo

Doctor suggested full body Xray

Pandit said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in “Ungli”

50% of Hindus are not donkeys

Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
“50% Of Hindus Are Donkeys”
The Hindus Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
“50% Of Hindus R Not Donkeys”
The Hindus Celebrated.

How can you make seven even?

How can you make seven even?
Teacher to Pandit: What is Number Seven , Even or Odd
Pandit: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Pandit:Remove the S!!

Hindu to others:

Hindu to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Hindu: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

You are seeing my wife

You are seeing my wife
Hindu & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Hindu shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D

Hindu going to shikaar

Hindu going to shikaar
Hindu darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Hindu: Sher k shikaar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Hindu: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Hindu:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

What is the fastest thing in world?

What is the fastest thing in world?
Four guys
1 from Harvard:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Hindu from U.P university
1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?
Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Hindu:Its loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

Hindu selected a short girl to marry

Hindu selected a short girl to marry.
Why?
Because pandit ji told him
Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai …:-P

Hindu made a call to the airport

Hindu made a call to the airport.
Asked,”How long is the journey from U.P to America?”
Receiptionist: “One second sir….”.
Hindu: Ok, thank you..!!!

Tring Tring Tring.

Tring Tring Tring.
Hindu: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Hindu: Are ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.

Bachelor or Married again

Bachelor or Married again
Hindus Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Anupam Sharma, B.A.
This Year It Reads Anupam Sharma, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Hindu: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again.

Q:Why is a Hindu standing below a tube light

Q:Why is a Hindu standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?
A:Because his doctor advised him
Todays dinner should be light

A Hindu pulled out 6 people from a burning house…

A Hindu pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !