A successful man / woman

A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

Diff B/W Ignorance & self control?

Diff B/W Ignorance & self control?

When u c mirror & u don’t laugh at yourself,
that is ignorance!

&
When i look at u & i don’t laugh,
thats called self control:-)

What if you don’t see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
“how would you feel if you don’t see me for two days?”
The man couldnt believe his luck: ‘that would be great’!
Monday passed and he didnt see her……
Tuesday and wednesday passed too…..
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
Corner of one eye;)

Dil diya tha mohabbat ki nishani samajh kar,

Dil diya tha mohabbat ki nishani samajh kar,
Wo kha gaya use BIRYANI samajh kar.
Khoon-e-jiger B na chora zalim ne,
Wo B pi gaya LIMON PANI samajh kar.

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife) ?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: “Up! Quick! My husband is back!”

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: “Damn, I am the husband!”

I just feel u….

I just feel u….

Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….

It’s juts because …………

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******

No 1 will touch ur mom

A man was dying of cancer.
His son asked him:
dad why do you keep on telling
everyone that your dying of AIDS.

He replied:
“So that when i die no 1 will touch ur mom”

A perfect girl …

A perfect girl
Doesn’t bother,
Doesn’t shout,
Doesn’t flirt with others,
Doesn’t lies,
Doesn’t cheat,
.
.
.
And
.
.
Doesn’t exists :p

clapping!!

5 funny facts of life

Having 1 child makes you a parent
but having 2 makes you a refree.

Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right
and the other is always husband.

You can’t buy love
but you pay heavily for it.

Wife and husband always compromise,
husband admits that he’s wrong and wife too agrees with him.

Our language is called the mother tongue
because the father never gets a chance to Speak.!:p

10 marks in an exam

Question: “How to kill an ant?”

Asked in an exam for 10 marks!

Student:
Mix chili powder with sugar,
&
Keep it outside the ant’s hole

After eating,
ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it!
Now ant will go to dry itself near fire,
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into d fire!
Then admit wounded ant in icu!
And then
remove oxygen mask from it’s mouth and kill the ant 😐

Moral:
Don’t play with students!
They can do any thing for 10 marks

Desperate to get married

Marriage is like a public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..

You know why women starts with ‘W’…

You know why women starts with ‘W’…
because all questions start with “W”.. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

Be a millionaire within few months

Repeat these lines at least 2 hours
everyday after Namaz outside the mosque
& u will b a millionaire within few Months.
“Allah k naam par dey de baba”

How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor:
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub….

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use d bucket bcoz its bigger….

Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now will u plz proceed to bed no.39 😉

What A Mystery

What A Mystery
A cockroach is afraid of Rat,
Rat is afraid of Cat,
Cat is afraid of Dog,
Dog is afraid of Man,
Man is afraid of Woman,
And Woman is afraid of
.
.
.
.
.
.
cockroach!

Question by a student !!

Question by a student !!
If a single teacher can’t
teach us all the subjects,
Then…
How could you expect a single student
to learn all subjects ?

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

*Love b4 Marriage*

*Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahe to mei nahe,
mei nahe to tum nahe…

*Love after Marriage*
“baghairta”…Aj tu nahe ya me nahe

In heaven together we were in a big hall

In heaven together we were in a big hall.
An Angel told us to write our sins before going in,
but before l could start writing any thing
l heard you caling for ”EXTRA SHEET”.

Two devils came in 2 my dreams.

Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”

Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”

Why should I ?

A Question Asked In A Talent Test

If U R Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
How Would You Recognize Your Wife?

The Answer Came:

“Why Should I ? 😛

3 new girl friends.

Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends”.

Can’t clear all subjects in 1st attempt…?

Question:
Why most of the engineering students
Can’t clear all subjects in 1st attempt..?
?
?
?
Answer:
Smooth roads never make good drivers,
Clear sky never makes good pilots
&
Clearing all subjects in the 1st attempt,
Never makes good engineers.

when wordz fail eyz works

when wordz fail eyz works
when eyz fail heart works
when heart fails to kia ???
.
.
.
.
samajh le tapak gaya;)

My heart is a mobile & u r its SIM

Girl:How much do you love me?
Boy:My heart is a mobile and you are its SIM

Girl:Ooh God.. I am soo lucky..
.
.
.
.
.
.
She doesn’t know that my mobile is dual sim 😛

Height of confidence

Height of confidence

Once many professors were called and asked to sit in an airplane.
After they sat. They were informed that the plane is made by their students.
All of them ran and got out of plane exdcept one.
People asked him the reason
He said,”If it’s made by my students it will not even start.”

It may not be Valentine’s Day everyday

Funny Valentine! Where are you?
How will you come to me?
In a red box, the softness of
A teddy bear or the tenderness of A kiss?
The security of a hug, the snug warm Feeling of love?
You seem sooo far away!
I think about you when I close my eyes
And even when I open them in the morning.
It may not be Valentine’s Day everyday
But with you. just know you r My love supply.
My Funny Valentine!

Men are like Bluetooth:

Men are like Bluetooth:
He is connected to you when you are nearby,
but searches for other devices when you are away..

Women are like Wi-Fi:
She sees all available devices
but connects to the strongest one…

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!