Can I have your picture

Can I have your picture,
so Santa Claus knows exactly
what to give me.
Happy Christmas.

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?

It’s only with a female

American: In our country ,
marriage even takes place with email.

Santa: In India, it is only with a female

Santa in court

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
“Order ! Order !”

SANTA:
“1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !”

JUDGE:
“Shut Up !”

SANTA:”No,No..7-Up!

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me

Google or Yahoo ???

Santa:- ‘Which is better?
Google or Yahoo..?’
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
?

Banta- ‘Oh wait.I’ll search it on
Google’… 😀 😉

After an accident,

After an accident,
A v.angry driver: I showed u d headlights
& told u 2 go by side.

Santa: I also started d wipers
& said No, no..No no. 😀

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.

Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, �what a shot you made!�

Cut workload by 50%

Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.

He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.

�What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?� asked the another man.

Santa replied, �Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.�

I hope you have a wonderful christmas

I hope you have a wonderful christmas
have a great new year !
Hopefully santa will be extra good to you .
enjoy your holidays !

Because married men are more obedient.

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Titanic was sinking.

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!

Banta to his new bride

Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
�Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?�

�Of course, dear, no trouble,� she replied.
�But what will you live on?�

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

I will never marry in my life

Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?

Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and
I’ll give same advice to my children also.

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump
sees a board Don”t use Mobile Here,
he Picks his Mobile Phone,
Calls everyone from his phone
& says DON”T CALL ME NOW.

Santa throw the butter out of the window?

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Santa & Mathematical conversion

Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa’s wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I’m changing d battery of my camera..

Cable T.V

Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don’t study,so i got rid of it
Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

A Chini was in hospital.

A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said “CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA” & died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE oxygen K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: good evening, we open the zip and do.

Santa cuts sides of the capsule

Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
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.
.
.
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.
.
To avoid the side effects!

Bank make your dreams come true

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was:
We make your dreams come true…

What comes first the chicken or the egg ?

Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever-
What comes first the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !

What should I write against mother tongue

Pappu while filling up a form:
What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long…..!

Kissing ur wife in ur home….

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”